For those with no children this is hysterical.
\nFor those who have children past this age this is hilarious.
\nFor those that have children nearing this age this is not funny.
\nFor those who do not yet have children this is a form of birth control.
\n“Things I’ve Learnt From My Children”
\n1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house 4 ins deep.
\n2. A 3 yr olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
\n3. If you hook a dog lead over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 lb boy wearing Batman underwear & a Superman cape. It is strong enough however if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all 4 walls of a large room.
\n4. When you hear the toilet flush & the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.
\n5. Brake fluid mixed with bleach makes smoke, lots of it.
\n6. A 6yr old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36yr old man says they can only do it in the movies.
\n7. Certain parts of Lego will pass through the digestive tract of a 4yr old.
\n8. Playdough & microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
\n9. Super Glue is forever.
\n10. No matter how much jelly you put in the swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
\n11. Pool filters do not like jelly.
\n12. VCR’s do not eject toasted sandwiches.
\n13. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
\n14. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving & are very expensive to remove.
\n15. You probably do not really want to know what that smell is.
\n16. Always look in the oven before you turn it on, plastic toys do not like ovens.
\n17. The average response time for the fire brigade is 20mins.
\n18. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
\n19. It will however make the cat dizzy.
\n20. Cats throw up half their body weight when dizzy.
\n21. The mind of a 6yr old is a wonderful & amazing thing.
\n60% of men who read this will try mixing brake fluid & bleach.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
For those with no children this is hysterical. For those who have children past this age this is hilarious. For those that have children nearing this age this is not…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2553","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.puerilis.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2553","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.puerilis.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.puerilis.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.puerilis.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.puerilis.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2553"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.puerilis.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2553\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.puerilis.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2553"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.puerilis.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2553"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.puerilis.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2553"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}